Being replaced – the ugly truth about aupairing 

And there was the day. The day, I would never have guessed that it would be that hard.

Because I don’t have time to be my hostfamilys aupair again they needed to get a new aupair. 

My hostmum texted me if I could speak to potential aupairs and that she would bribe me with cheesy dipers. (Probs to her for always being super funny in akward situations)

All future/current aupairs should know that this day will come, where they just going to be replaced.

Yes. A new person is going to be in “your” family. Well here comes the bitter truth: THEY ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY!!!

You may have bonded with this family. You may have lived with them and celebrated birthdays or holidays with them. You may feel like you are part of the family.

But you are NOT.

Don’t worry. It is not your fault. It’s just the aupair program. 

It’s the most awkward moment when you have to leave that family to another person or your beloved aupair is leaving your family and I am so glad that I had a friend to talk about that. 

Days later the new aupair texted me. She seemed really nice. I told her as much as I could and I hope she understood the hints that I gave her between the lines. 

Eventually my hostmum got back to me and asked me about my opinion on the aupair I had talked to.

So here is my big advice for future hostfamilys: TALK to your aupair and show her/him that you still appreciate the work they are doing. And get them involved in the process if they want to. 

This really helped me not feeling like I was just being replaced so easily and I hope that all future/ current hostparents are going to do that so the situation doesn’t get any worse.

It made me feel like I am still involved and important.

Now my big advice for the aupairs: Just enjoy your time!!! And if you’re done with aupairing for good – enjoy your next step in life!!! Stay in contact with your family and friends at home but also with those you just made while being an aupair. This will make it much easier!! And think about the fact normally the hostfamily is pretty much just as nervous about a new person in their home as you.

At the end of the day you have to accept that you are working for them and that being an aupair is “just” a job. (With an extra inside view of the aupair and the family)

Aupair isn’t about being a part of a family you haven’t been born into. It’s about treating each other with respect, love and kindness, so that both, a hostfamily and the aupair can feel comfortable around each other so you can live AND work together.

If you developed a great friendship with each other – good for you! But don’t feel like it’s a must have. 

All you need is to feel comfortable and appreciated.

Just keep that in mind. 

XXX 

M

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